Pack Up Survival Mode, Put It on the Shelf
Survival mode kept you alive, but it’s exhausting when it never turns off. This visualization helps you pack it away when you don’t need it.
TL;DR:
Imagine gathering up your hypervigilance and putting it on a shelf.
Visualization
Look around and picture a box sitting in front of you. It’s sturdy, solid, maybe smells a little like cardboard or cedar or cannabis or dried flowers.
Start loading in what you don’t need right now:
-the constant scanning of exits,
-the bracing for impact,
-the imaginary rehearsals of every possible disaster.
Hear each thought thud as it lands in the box. See the weight of it pile up.
Now fold the flaps, press the tape down. The box is sealed. Strong.
Look up and picture a shelf in the room… maybe above a dresser, maybe floating. Lift the box, feel its weight, and slide it onto the shelf. Hear the wood creak a little, then settle.
Say to yourself: I can take it down if I need it. But not right now.
Feel your body a little lighter. Notice the chair under you. The floor steady underneath your feet. You are safe here, in this moment, right now.
—-
I lived years half-packed, like I could ditch at any second. I thought it kept me safe. It just kept me tired. Putting survival mode on the shelf didn’t erase it, but it let me rest. That’s enough today.
—-
