Diary of a Chaos Goblin

Messy, honest stories from healing in real time.

Healing is awkward. It’s restless. It’s confusing. Sometimes it’s funny in ways that don’t make sense to anyone but us. Most days it feels like trying to live in a body and a house that still don’t know they’re safe.

This is where I tell the truth about it. Diary of a Chaos Goblin is my place to share the messy parts of healing- the panic, the peace that feels fake, the tiny wins that actually matter.

If you’ve ever wondered why calm feels suspicious, why settling down feels impossible, or if anyone else is still waiting for the crash, you’ll probably find yourself here.

Guided Visualization Scripts

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You Deserve to Feel Safe in Your Own Life
You Deserve to Feel Safe in Your Own Life

Nobody’s coming to rescue us. That realization hits hard, even when you thought you already knew it. If you grew up in chaos… if you learned to earn love by walking on eggshells… if you were the kid scanning every room before you even sat down… you know this feeling. You know what it’s like to sit somewhere beautiful and still feel unsafe. You know how heavy it is to carry your own belonging everywhere you go.

The World’s on Fire and I Still Have to Answer Emails?! Cool.
The World’s on Fire and I Still Have to Answer Emails?! Cool.

Let’s not pretend things are normal right now. Some absolutely unhinged shit has happened lately (both globally and personally, if we’re being real), and somehow we’re still expected to go to work, feed our kids, hit our deadlines, clean the bathroom, answer texts, and smile in the grocery store like our nervous systems aren't just dry-heaving under the weight of it all.

That’s messed up. And yet here we are.

The Magic of Slow Decorating After Survival Mode
The Magic of Slow Decorating After Survival Mode

I didn’t know I was allowed to feel safe. I grew up in survival mode. Not metaphorically. Not “wow, childhood was tough” in the vague, TikTok way. I mean real survival. Like hunger. Like being passed between homes. Like hearing adults say they didn’t want me. Like being called a burden. Like having my safety depend on how silent I could be.